Live life on purpose. Intentional about loving people with the love of Christ.

Yes, this post is long, but it’s awesome to see how God works on people’s hearts! I’ve been working on writing this since November and it’s taken me a while to get it kind of the way I want it. It’s not perfect, but I’m ready to share it. *For the protection of the people that I’m writing about I’m using code names, just in case someone stumbles upon my blog*

You know those people who think that life is all about them? That once was me. NO ONE could tell me different. Life was about me, everyone around me was there to serve me! That is so awful…How could I have thought that?...Lord, please bless my parents for all the crap I put them though during that time of my extremely selfish life!...Life is most definitely NOT about me! It’s about Him-- about Knowing, Loving, Serving and Sharing about Him! At the age of 13 was when I first realized that I had this problem of self…My cousin, Cesly(she was 7), came to live with me and my family for 18 months. I had always been the only daughter and I didn’t want another little girl in my house. I had never had to share my room or share my daddy with another girl other than my mom. I was daddy’s princess and very slowly I had to learn that sometimes you are called by God to do some things you really don’t want to do. My parents kept telling me that life wasn’t all about me. Life is about helping others out who have nothing. I didn’t want to hear that! I wanted nothing to do with her, I saw her as a threat, another girl trying to take over my castle. Right before my cousin left though, I watched as the walls I built up, my castle, crumbled down. I realized this very important thing… LIFE IS NOT ABOUT ME!! My cousin was living with us because her home life was horrible and she needed a safe place to live. BECKY! What were you thinking?!? You had 18 months to be a light to your cousin and instead you shut down! What the heck is that about?!? At that moment I decided that would never happen again! I had already failed to help one child that desperately needed me and I promised from that moment on I would help as many kids as possible. This is when I made the choice that one day I would adopt! I would help the kids who no one cared for, the ones who are forgotten, the ones that have never been loved, never hugged, who have never seen what a family is suppose to look like! I felt like a failure after my cousin left, actually I STILL feel like I failed her and it’s been 8 years!

I’ve learned a lot about foster care and adoption from my second family, The C’s. They are AMAZING people who have 3 kids of their own…C1, C2, and C3. In August of 2009 they became foster parents. Goal: To care for the invisible orphans, the kids people had given up on, to give these kids a better legacy! Since August they have had 5 children come into their home, 3 boys and 2 girls. I’ve fallen in love with each of them! It broke my heart when the 3 that have gone back to their families left. I remember when the first boy, baby A, left I felt like my heart was being yanked out. How could God bring this sweet baby to us and then take him away? BECAUSE this sweet baby needed to be with someone other than his family for a little while so his parents could figure things out. After I realized this, I was a little better. I’m not saying it was easy to watch the other 2 boys leave at all. I’ll admit it…I cried for a few hours as each of them left, but you know what…they left better than they came! How awesome is that? We made a difference! A difference I should have made in my cousins life, but I failed to do so. Each child is a gift from God and their life matters! I found that I can make a difference as long as I rely on God for help. “I’m only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything but still, I can do something, I will not refuse to do the something I can do.” –Edward Everett Hale

Something else I’ve learned through this foster care journey is that it comes with many fears, frustrations, and MANY heart breaks! After each of the boys left I realized that there was another child out there that would soon need help. Unfortunately that also means that another family somewhere was falling apart. Children who may have never been loved, cared for, or even been given a second thought to would soon be coming. When a child would leave we would all guess how long it would take before OUR new baby would arrive, would it be a boy or a girl and how old would it be? Something I love about this is that we never knew until the call came. God always picked out the cutest kids for the C’s! I loved every moment that I was allowed to spend with them. I loved the strange looks I would get from people when I was walking around a store or taking one of the older kids to soccer practice if I had all 5 kids with me. No people, I did not have 5 children before the age of 20! It always made me laugh, especially if I had C1 (who is only 7 years younger than me). I love all these kids! The wonderful thing about Foster care is that it sometimes turns into Adoption! We got to experience this Joy in November, 1 year, 1 month and 12 days after Ky was placed in the family, Kylie Rebecca was adopted! That was one of the best days of my life by far! When Mom K called me and told me the date that Kylie would be adopted I KNEW I had to be there! I was at the C’s house the day the case worker brought Kylie. She was only 4 weeks old and so tiny! C2 and I were so excited about this new little girl that we had to go shopping right away! Almost everything we got was pink! We decided that Kylie would need bows that were the size of her head and shoes that were so tiny and cute that we had to get them. Kylie has been well dressed since the day she came that is for sure!...Back to adoption day…I had gone to Longview for the weekend that I thought would consist of going to the court house and celebrate this sweet baby’s new last name. Little did I know that Ky would also have a new middle name-Rebecca. I had no clue until the judge said Kylie Rebecca C and the C’s turned around and pointed to me that Kylie shared a name with me! I was in shock! It was so cool and in that moment of shock God pointed something out to me…I wasn’t a failure with Kylie. I realized that I hadn’t messed up like I had with my cousin when I had the chance. I was actually there for her when she needed me the most. I had done what I promised 8 years ago that I would do. I know that now I am 8 years older than I was when my cousin lived with us, so I would hope I'm a little smarter than I was back then, but its still cool how God worked on my heart.

Most people that know me know that I love when stories can be put together and there is symbolism. So here is what God put together...My uncle is black and my aunt is white, just like Ky’s biological parents so these 2 girls look a lot alike. Cesly and Kylie have the same skin and eye color. I realized this when I looked at a picture of Kylie I have in my room the other day. I’m so thankful for that little girl and all the C’s. I’m even more thankful that God gave me a second chance to make a small difference in another little girls life! One that even looks similar to my cousin!


Ive found a few scriptures that really say what I want to say…

Adoption is the reason that we can come before God’s throne and beg him for mercy, because He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will…Ephesians 1:5. To the praise of His glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One He loves…Ephesians 1:6.

Adoption is beautiful. Adoption is hard. Adoption is the Gospel of Christ and the promise of Gods love and redemption lived out in our lives.

Adopting children isn’t optional for me. It’s not going to be my good deed of the day, it’s not going to be what I’m doing to “help these poor kids out.” I’ll adopt because God commands me to care for the orphans and widows in their distress…James1:27.I’ll adopt because everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded…Luke 12:48. I’ll adopt because whoever wants to save a life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it…Matthew 16:25.